I Hope

By Autumn S.

If you are lucky enough to not understand addiction, then good for you. I hope you never have to. I hope you never see someone you love disappear before your eyes while standing right in front of you. I hope you never have to lie awake all night praying the phone doesn’t ring, yet hoping that it does. I hope you never know the feeling of doing everything you thought was right, and still watch it go all wrong. I hope you never love an addict…

I hope you never know what it means to live afraid of yourself. To never trust yourself. To fight a raging war inside for your own mind every moment. To feel unwanted and unworthy. To need something that you know is destroying you, and to do anything for it. To trade your life, your soul, and still end up broken and alone. To give away everything and everyone you had. To have no answers. To always question. To have no choice, yet have to choose to fight your battle. I hope you never have to live as an addict…